Hema

Hema is a singer and dancer, who I met through Stella Lillig (see next posting). With all of us meeting, I have to say that coffee shops really do bring like-minded people together! Hema has a unique story behind her performing life, as she had studied medicine and had actually became a doctor before going into dancing and singing as a career. Despite the years she put into the medical field, she chose to move to New York and pursue her real passions.

"You continue to inspire me from a distance," she wrote to me not too long ago. But it is in fact Hema who inspires me as she continues to fight for her dreams, admit her fears and doubts, but still find the courage to persevere and listen to what really moves her in her life. Her example reminds me to do the same. Not only is she a young and talented performing artist whom I admire, but I am proud to call Hema a friend.

I haven’t had the pleasure of hearing you sing or dance
yet. But I heard someone describing your voice as a young Madonna. Is Madonna someone you looked up to as you were growing up, or was that comparison just a coincidence? Who were your mentors?

(laughs) I think the person I have loved since I was tiny, and who I still love to this day, is Kylie Minogue. Definitely. She’s my favourite (smiles). Her posters were all over my walls when I was younger. And I just saw her for the first time this summer. She’s just a MASSIVE inspiration. I think she’s amazing. And that’s more who I aspire to be.

But yes, I loved Kylie and Madonna and Janet Jackson, as I was growing up.

I’m definitely more on the performer end. The real performers are who inspire me.

And did you say that you didn’t actually take formal singing lessons?

No, I didn’t. I attended some classes here (New York), more group classes, but I think more than anything technical, they helped with confidence. For example, my coach told me that, “It’s almost like you’re scared of your own voice.” (laughs) Because, it’s true, I spoke so softly and so quietly. But yeah, I think the classes gave me confidence. And I just started with a new woman called Janele. She’s worked with people like Aretha Franklin and Ashanti.

Oh wow!

Yeah, she’s really good. She’s getting me to work with my diaphragm more, which I hadn’t been doing so much. I haven’t been singing as well as I could have been, I guess. But it definitely helps. And now I’m getting geared up to do performances. So that’s something I’m going to need, is that formal, vocal training.

So before this recent training, were you singing at home?

Yeah, I was always singing along with songs. And then at school, in college, we’d do shows all the time. So I’d be singing other people’s songs. And me and my best friend used to sing together. We’d always be singing Destiny’s Child (smiles), pushing ourselves always. But we would do a harder and harder song each time. We would just sing along with other people, working together at harmonies. And we started to record. And that was a different experience as well- being in a studio, starting to learn that side of things. But it was all about getting better and better, and always pushing yourself.

And you have many years of dancing in your background, right?

Yes, I was a dancer first. I’ve been dancing since I was about three. Ballet and things like that. And as I got older, I used to teach myself, off of Janet Jackson videos and that kind of thing. So by the time I was able to attend street dancing classes, I could pick up the moves really fast.

But when you’re learning off the TV, everything is the other way around, because you're seeing the mirror image (laughs).

Right. I never really thought about that. (laughs)

And so I was dancing, and joined agencies.

And what made you take the singing more seriously?

I always wanted to sing. And it just started becoming a bigger part of my life. And opportunities would just pop up. You’ll mention that you sing, and then you’ll meet a producer, or something would happen. And I guess the big move was coming to America, to New York, to test the waters.

Within a week of being here, I ended up in Wyclef Jean’s studio (smiles). So I thought, okay (laughs), I HAVE to do this.

Wow! That must be a sign. (smiles)That’s great!

Yeah. And I was always putting on pop concerts with my friends. I always liked it. So I guess I started out more dance based, but then I started singing. And like I said, we started out in school, and just kept up with it.

So when you were taking dance classes for all those years, were you doing performances a lot?

YEAH. I guess when I was doing things like ballet, or I also did Lindy Hop, and different types of jazz dancing, I would do shows as part of the training.

And then, when it became more about street dancing, you’d be behind an artist, or you’d do certain events. For example, we would do basketball tournaments and things like that. So there’d always be something going on. So you were on a stage, and getting used to that.

Did you always feel comfortable performing?

Yeah! (smiles) It’s weird, having these two sides. I mean, I know even on Beyonce’s new album, she’s doing her ‘old Beyonce’ but then also including her alter ego Sasha. And it’s weird, it’s like I know so many people must be like this. I’m pretty quiet. I’m quite shy. I always have been. But when I hit the stage, it’s like something else DOES take over. I’m in a little bubble and I’ll be so nervous before. And I feel like I’m going to be sick, and I think, “Why do I do this?” But as soon as I’m up there, and I get through the first note, or move or whatever, it’s like a second home.

And do people who know you to be that shy person come out to see you dance?

They do, yeah! (smiles) But I guess, to my close friends, I don’t seem like a REALLY shy person because they’re always around me. So they’re not AS shocked. And it’s just something they relate with me- they know, “Okay Hema dances.” Those people have always known.

And do your family come out to watch you?

Yeah, they do. They always come out to see my shows and stuff. They do, which is nice. It IS nice.

We’ve been talking a lot about family. Did you find that your family was supportive about your singing and dancing?

I think everything was REALLY encouraged for me… BUT as a hobby. It could have been anything- singing or dancing or even if I wanted to try an instrument or anything. That was good. But when I started to do it MORE (smiles),.. yeah, then it became a problem.
Doing it along the side of medical school- like if I was off doing a dance show- it never really phased them. But that was as long as I stayed on top of the other things I was doing, like my studies and work. But when I made the actual switch, out of that career, that’s when… yeah…

And you’re Hindu and Indian, right?

Yes, I’m Hindu and Malayalam, from Kerala, India.

Well, sometimes, when people find out that I salsa dance, but know that I’m Indian, they’ll ask me why I don’t do Barat Natyam or Bollywood dancing. (laughs)

Hema- (laughs).

So I’m curious to find out if you’ve gotten comments like that, or if you’ve ever tried Indian dancing?

I have done some Indian dance. I studied Barat Natyam a little bit. And about a year and a half ago, I was with this Bellydance Bollywood group. It felt a bit alien to me, the movements. But the girl that was teaching me said that she could at least see that I was getting the hands, you know, the hand gestures were there (laughs).

But I think with music, the comments about being Indian have come up. I think it’s ridiculous. I’m Indian, and I’m proud of that, but I’m also South Indian, so Bollywood and stuff like that is NOT a part of my life at all, I mean, I didn’t grow up with it.

That’s more alien to me than hip hop or R&B or pop music is, and I think it’s silly anyway, you know. It’s weird that the fact that I’m Indian somehow means that... well, it’s assumed that I HAVE to Indian dance. It’s insulting, really.

But at the same time, don't get me wrong, I am proud of it- being Indian. But I grew up with more of the classical sound- instrumental music and singing. If they were appropriate for a song, or something I was working on, then, yes, I would put them into my work. For example, I had a girl actually sing in Malayalam on one of my tracks. It’s definitely stuff I’m interested in but it was never around me, really, more than that. I know some people can be very, very rude about it. At the end of it, I’m just being me, and if I tried to do that stuff, for other people, I think it would come across a little fake.

With all the changes that you’ve gone through, with making some big decisions in your life, especially recently, do you find that some of your lyrics have a theme to them, that match what is going on in your life at the time?

They’re about different themes. I think I always used to write poetry and lyrics from the heart, about things that I have gone through. And, as it progresses, I think it could be about anything- something that I’ve seen, something that a friend is going through, or even a piece of artwork. Anything that just clicked for me.

The last song I put out is called Guilty Pleasure. That song is about what we just talked about- being Indian, having certain responsibilities, things that I’m ‘supposed’ to do, and yet, having these things that I WANT to do, like music and dance. They are these arts and passions that I love so purely but the love of it ...it’s completely tinged, because it has that element of “should I be doing this?”

That’s why it’s my “guilty pleasure”.

It depends though. Sometimes, I’ll hear music, and it will just conjure up images in my head, and I just start writing.

Do you play any instruments?

I studied the piano. classical training. I haven’t picked it up in a little while. But I would like to because it would really help me right now. And that’s my goal, is to get back into it.

Did the song writing come to you naturally? Were you taking a writing class for that? How did you begin that?

I’ve been doing it since I was eight.

Oh wow!

Yeah, I wrote my first song when I was eight. It’s funny, now that you mention it. I still have it (smiles). Yeah, I was always writing poetry.

And then they would turn into songs. I never had music with it.

Now it’s the opposite. I almost always write to music first and then the lyrics.

Some things are learned, but it comes very naturally to me. I think at the moment, it’s what I love the most about what I do- that, and performing.

Just the fact that you start with nothing. And then by the end of the day, or a few days later, you have a complete song. And I love messing around with melodies.

How do you decide if a song is complete?

Well, I start off with a basic framework. I just start with melodies, usually with the music. And then, I have my basic verse and chorus. There might be a bridge, as well. And usually, even before I finish the format of the whole thing, I start to record it. And then, with the producer that I work with, I play around with harmonies.

The guy I work with right now- he’s great at rearranging and helping me with little things I need to do. We work it out together. And then I’ll take it, and sit with it awhile, like with any writing, and then go back to it. And after going back to working at it again, then, we kind of decide. Sometimes, I think, “It’s not done. We need more, we need more!” (laughs)

Do you actually write out the score of the music, or are you singing along when working out the melody?

Sometimes, I write the melody first, and I’ll literally be humming. And sometimes when singing, certain words come out. But a lot of the time, yeah, the melody comes first or lyrics.

As far as I know, there are not a lot of Indian role models in the singing pop world. With you doing this, do you have a goal, as far as what you’d like to represent to other Indians?

DEFINITELY. Definitely.

I wouldn’t want the WHOLE of my life to be seen as a role model, that’s a lot of pressure (laughs).

I feel like when you’re growing up, you kind of like what IS LIKE you, or what you can relate to. And yeah, there wasn’t anyone. And I know that all Indians, all across the globe, they’d see Indians on TV and they’d be like oooh, (laughs) because they weren’t really part of the main stream entertainment.

But now it’s great, because they’re seen more in entertainment. But they’re still not the stand out main stream stars at all. It’s all very much within the scene, the Indian scene. I think that's really important to notice.

Even on the small scale of what I’ve been doing, I’ve had girls write to me on MySpace and that, and say, “It’s amazing to see someone who has kept the education there, but is doing what they want to do.”

That’s great.

Yeah, well it gives THEM drive. And that’s amazing for me. I think that’s one of the main things that I love about it. Definitely.

Well, through my writing, I have felt so lucky to do interviews with people who I never even thought I’d be in the same room with, let alone be able ask them questions I’ve been dying to know for so long.

So I’m just wondering, if the tables were turned, and you were the interviewer (smiles), is there someone, whether living or not living, someone you’ve met, or have yet to meet, who you would choose to interview?

Wow! (laughs) That’s a good question.

I know there’s someone whose PRESENCE I’d like to be in. I think I’d like to hear HIM talk, rather than me asking any questions. And that would be Gandhi.

Really?

Yes, DEFINITELY

That’s really interesting. I keep learning something new about you each time we talk. (smiles)

For example, the other day you had mentioned that you are writing a book, or you wanted to write a book?

Yeah (smiles), I am.

Can I ask what it’s about?

It’s actually about my time at medical school, and as a doctor. I guess it’s something I run from, or it’s a hard time, it was very painful.

You meet so many people that are interested in that, especially BECAUSE of what I do now. They think it’s amazing that A- I did it, and B- that I just walked away from it. So I ended up telling certain stories. And there are just so many funny ones, or so many HEARTBREAKING ones. And I thought, “This needs to be kept, if not for anyone else then for me.”

I’ve started to write it. I don’t know where it will go or what will happen with it. But I’m enjoying the process.

And is it written as a memoir or is it a continuous story, fictionalized?

No, I’ve got bits and pieces here there and everywhere. Some of them are awful, and some of them I’m feeling are really right. But I think it’s important to just write, and then go back and clean it up later.

But it’s all very obviously from your point of view? Or is it a character that’s going through the experiences?

It's from my point of view. I’ll definitely call it a memoir, but I’ll be changing it here and there as I go (laughs).

We’ve talked about how it’s tough pursuing something in the arts, and finding the drive and motivation to keep going. Are there people out there that inspire you?

I think anyone that’s going for any kind of dream, or chasing their goals, or even living their life on the edge - whatever it is for that person- just pushing their own boundaries- that’s very inspirational to me. Because doing these sorts of things, there are a lot of slow times, there are a lot of hard times and self doubt, especially with different voices in your head telling you shouldn’t be doing it.

And I think New York is an amazing place for that, because everywhere, you just meet creative people and there’s that buzz and there’s that energy here. And it just feels right. EVERY DAY, literally, you could potentially meet someone chasing their dreams (laughs), and I think you can pick each other up. It’s just like you’re constantly putting that good energy out and bringing it towards you. And I think it’s SO important to keep the faith.

And that’s how I met you, so… (smiles).

And I am so grateful for that. You have inspired me so much already. (smiles) Thank you.

To find out more about Hema and her music,

check out her myspace page:

www.myspace.com/hemarni