"I am a part of everything, and everything is a part of me. You're amazing."
- India Arie
June 25th, 2009. I will forever remember that date and the moment when I received a text from a friend telling me that Michael Jackson was presumed dead. I couldn't believe it. "But Michael Jackson isn't supposed to die," I found myself saying over and over again in my mind.I kept a lot of what I was thinking to myself, because I was confused and embarrassed by how a person I wasn't even "close to" could have such an imp
act on me. I have never thought of myself as someone who is easily star struck, and I obviously didn't know the King of Pop personally. Besides attending his concert at Wembley Stadium many years ago with thousands of others, I have never been in his presence. But there was something so PRESENT about him, while he was alive. I could feel it, and so, at the news of his death, I also felt a great absence, a great loss. But I didn't know how to share it with anyone. Isn't it a little crazy to feel that way about a "stranger"?At the same time, I couldn't believe he was really gone. I just thought MJ was invincible. 
I mean, this is the same guy who blew people away as a young kid, from the outset of his career- "That little guy in the front is amazing!" said a commentator at one of the Jackson 5's first performances. And though Tito, Randy and the others were talented members of the group, we all know to which Jackson brother he was referring.
And a
s he grew both in age and popularity-the red leather jacket, the white socks in shiny black shoes, smooth sliding, fast moving feet, and that sparkly silver glove- were like magic. Everything about Michael and his movements were magical. I recently watched footage of the first time Michael did the moonwalk on stage in his outstanding Motown performance of Billy Jean. Even to this day, seeing that energy and power to command such awe from the audience still gives me goosebumps. Look at those feet go!:
I mean, this is the same guy who blew people away as a young kid, from the outset of his career- "That little guy in the front is amazing!" said a commentator at one of the Jackson 5's first performances. And though Tito, Randy and the others were talented members of the group, we all know to which Jackson brother he was referring.
And a
s he grew both in age and popularity-the red leather jacket, the white socks in shiny black shoes, smooth sliding, fast moving feet, and that sparkly silver glove- were like magic. Everything about Michael and his movements were magical. I recently watched footage of the first time Michael did the moonwalk on stage in his outstanding Motown performance of Billy Jean. Even to this day, seeing that energy and power to command such awe from the audience still gives me goosebumps. Look at those feet go!:Even the Mambo King- Mr. Eddie Torres- holds Michael Jackson up high, as an ultimate vision for dancers of all kinds, salsa or otherwise, to strive for: "He's no Michael Jackson, of course," he has said a few times of a great dancer, "but he's pretty good."
Michael Jackson was "Bad"(pun intended! lol!) in Beat It and Thriller, but also sweet an
d childlike in his love of Peter Pan, his excitement over the world of Disney, and his adoration of animals. His voice rang strong and loud on radios all around the world. But I believe his shy, gentle speaking voice was an intimation of his innocence, his desire to get back to his real self, away from the millions of fans and cameras; his desire to get back the childhood he missed out on."I neve
r had a real childhood," admitted Michael on several occasions. What saddened me so much is that while it seemed Michael Jackson was so desperately trying to claim that childhood back, and struggled with it because of lost time and the way media distorted his behaviour, he was such a HUGE part of my upbringing, of my childhood.I have great memories of dancing around in my livingroom to his music,
being so excited to buy his next album, filling my walls with posters of him, and recording all his amazing videos. I think that I met many of my oldest friends because of him- we all shared a love of MJ. And anyone who was a fan of Michael Jackson's was all right by me. Their appreciation of him and his music connected me to people I don't think I would have otherwise connected to so easily.You loosened me up, MJ. I
think you were one of the first artists who spoke with a shy, soft voice, but was bold in his performance and creativity. It made me believe that I could overcome my shyness, that it wasn't a hindrance to my coming alive in front of an audience too. You taught me that we don't have to be loud and obnoxious to be a star or to be talented. You just have to be yourself. You gave new meaning to the word talent and inspiration to me. You opened up my mind to bigger and better dreams than I ever had before. And even if I was too shy to dance before... how ccould anyone NOT get up and dance when they heard your hits? You got hips moving, and booties shaking and bodies waving even when they didn't know they could!Michael was often criticised for his plastic surgeries, questioned about his sexuality, and portrayed as a weirdo or a freak. But I believe that the media has a way of
distorting reality in favour of drama for the public. And I think Michael's uniqueness and individuality made for an easy target, easy to exploit. There was just no one else out there like him. And I would have to have seen it or heard it from Michael himself to believe some of the accusations that were thrown at him.A couple of my friends and I stumbled into Bar None the other night, unplanned after catching up at dinner in Yaletown. As soon as we walked in, I felt like time had rewound to our university days when all three of us would go clubbing, listening to those great RnB and Hip Hop tunes of the 80's and 90's. "I would be in tears if they played Michael Jackson right now," I said out loud. And what do you know?- Just minutes after we got on the dance floor, a couple of my all time favourite MJ hits- Rock With You, and Blame It On the Boogy -came on. Though I didn't cry, I think all three of us girls were feeling a little emotional- missing Michael, smiling at the great memories he brought us, and finally dancing our hearts out in celebration of our night out- made perfect by a few great MJ beats.
You will never be forgotten, Michael. I now realize that it doesn't matter whether I knew you personally. Some people were put on this earth to touch us even if from afar. It doesn't make you any less a part of me.
It was a privilege to be living during the time of such a legend. You will live on in my memory forever. I will keep pulling out those great Michael Jackson hits. May you rest in peace and be surrounded by the love and appreciation that you deserve.
"I'm grateful that now I can see, That I am a part of everything,
and everything is a part of me, You've amazed me."
- India Arie
